Hiei's questionaire
by Alanna 8D
Summary: Hiei, AIM forums, and PURE EVIL!
1. Day 1 of boredom

The Yu Yu Hakusho Game!!!!ONLINE!!! YAY  
  
Kawaii001: I just have a few words to say before I start this epic game show ONLINE!!!!!  
  
(breath in) I would like to thank my friend Brandy's mom for saying that I could cook in their kitchen. I would like to thank my great-grandma's friend Becky(F-U-N-N-Y) for letting me actually cook in their kitchen. I made magical crab rangoons. And I would like to thank Brandy's dog, Metallica. (A/N this is a multi-named dog i could call him fluffy, stupid, retard, or Def Leppard.)  
  
Hiei: SHUT UP!!!!!  
  
Kawaii001: You talk like my 11 year old brother!! What are you 22??  
  
Hiei: Look I cannot wait till you're asleep so I won't, I'll get ifire-dragon/i on you if you do not personally sew your mouth shut so I can meditate  
  
Kawaii001: Question??  
  
Hiei: 5 seconds, I give mercy.   
  
kawaii001: can I not talk for the rest of the day instead of sewing??  
  
Hiei: You can be fast when you want to. W/E just bDO NOT/b make a sound.  
  
............................................................................................  
  
Name: Hiei Jaganashi  
  
Age: SHUT UP.  
  
Height: I do not care, it is my speed I care about.  
  
weight: All muscle  
  
music? What do you take me for? I am busy training I do not have time for N'Sync punk wannabees collectively trying to be epic. People actually fall for it is what gets me.  
  
color? Color is nothing but an illusion.  
  
ideal woman: I need no woman, it would be a burden.  
  
ideal height: I need no woman, it would be a burden.  
  
ideal weight: If I have to triplicate myself I will hurt whoever so does make me do so.  
  
ideal personality: what do you think??  
  
your personality: Your questionaire is boring me, next question. Besides I would have thought you would have determined it already.  
  
AIM TIME!!!!!--------------------  
  
sexyCaramel: Hey Heiei, (did I mispell yo'name?)   
  
you sound cool in your description...  
  
firedragon: Yes you did mis(s)pell my name, you dolt.  
  
wuvlybunny01: Hey cutie, your pure muscle?? Show me a pic!!  
  
firedragon: I don't have one of these so called "pics" and wouldn't give it to you even if I did have it.  
  
sexyCaramel: Hey whats wrong baby?  
  
firedragon: Incase you iwomen/i haven't noticed I am neither a toddler or one of these "pics". And at least spell like your educated.  
  
thighbuster: You like to work out?? What city do u live in? Maybe we go to the same gym.  
  
wuvlybunny01: bWHY NOT???/b You don't like me??  
  
firedragon: I do not go to one of these mere gymnasiums I actually go out and fire my extreme energy at the ground, shockwaving the entire continent!! And yes BUNNYBUTT I do NOT like you!!  
  
(to be continued) 


	2. Night 1 of boredom

Announcement from Author,  
  
Kawaii001: Well, poking fun at Hiei has given the illusion he's out of character... well my little dog, Retard, can fix that. Retard will write the next part. I will bring the non-out-of-character Hiei out among us...  
  
Hiei: hn.  
  
Kawaii001: Anything??  
  
Hiei: Walks away.  
  
......................................  
  
(cont'd by Retard)  
  
wuvlybunny01: I'll be the scariest thing you've ever encountered you little brat!  
  
firedragon: Then you'd be Kuwabara's face.  
  
wuvlybunny01: WHO IS THAT?? Besides you're to stupid for me, you don't even know what a pic is!!  
  
sexyCaramel: Yeah really and you call me a dolt??  
  
firedragon: A pic is short for picture. Obviously you can't comprehend how to spell that.  
  
I'm leaving.  
  
.......................................................................  
  
(6 months later)  
  
Name: Hiei Jaganashi  
  
Age: That doesn't matter  
  
Sex: Fire Demon. Male if you classify it that way.  
  
Height: All the better to be swift in a fight.  
  
Weight: It doesn't matter as long as can defeat my enemy  
  
Color: Color gets in the way...espescially neon.  
  
Music: Who cares?  
  
....  
  
Kawaii: Retard you are done!!  
  
I'll continue it later folks. 


	3. The rest of Night 1

Alright the finishing chapter... when are finished please consult the message at the bottom and have a nice day; D .................................................................................................................................  
  
(He clicks on anything and it just happens to be a singles chat...)  
  
Lovelychelsea0527: hey firedragon asl  
  
Carathemighty: yeah you sound cool asl  
  
Lovely Chelsea0527: Hey your profiles neat! I think it's you that's killing some ugly red-hed in a pic!!  
  
Carathemighty: Hey I'll check it out.  
  
Firedragon: what is an asl?? And yes that is me...  
  
Lovelychelsea0527: OMG u don't kno wot asl means??  
  
Bubblyandrougue: What an idiot!!!  
  
Lovelychelsea0527: A CUTE idiot!!  
  
Standupartist12: Will you all stop picking on him!! You are mean selfish people!!  
  
Lovelychelsea0527: SHUT UP  
  
Bubblyandrougue: SHUT UP  
  
Carathemighty: SHUT UP!!  
  
Firedragon: why am I just observing the haze of stupidity around this lounge?? You ALL need to SHUT UP!!!  
  
Carathemighty: U kno what firedragon you never talk very much so like you have the right to say anything.  
  
Firedragon: You know what Cara!!? I would talk except you bobble-heads on the computer talk way too much!! It's no wonder you can't get a guy in real life!! You are probably 10 and wannabe 15 yr. Olds!! You SHUT UP!!  
  
Carathemighty: Ur stooped!!  
  
Firedragon: Yet again 6th grade couldn't teach you how to spell like you're at least not a 10 yr. Old redneck!!!  
  
Carathemighty: I don leik you NE more!!  
  
Fire dragon: Oh yes I'm hurt! I'm way older than you kid! You're looking' for love on the Internet the first guy that takes a look at your age will instantaneously ignore you!!  
  
Lovelychelsea0527: Fire!! That was NOT necessary!!  
  
Firedragon: I don't care... now what about this asl?? Is it a spell or enchantment??  
  
Lovelychelsea0527: Wot r u talking about?? Bubblyandrougue: If u must kno it means age/sex/location  
  
Firedragon: You people disgust me!!  
  
Bubblyandrougue: what music do like?  
  
Firedragon: None  
  
Bubblyandrougue: U bore me... do u do NE thing inresting  
  
Firedragon: I kill people.  
  
Bubblyandrougue: fo'rizzle??  
  
Firedragon: are you stupid?  
  
Bubblyandrougue: O yea I forgot...u live under a rock!! I means for real.  
  
Firedragon: yes. I kill everything that blocks me from my goal!  
  
Bubblyandrogue: R u a felon?  
  
Firedragon: no. They wouldn't be able to see me or catch me if it were possible to see me!  
  
Bubblyandrogue: OK u scare me!  
  
Firedragon: I always do that! Laugh  
  
Bubblyandrougue: How many ppl have u killed?  
  
Firedragon: hundreds...including demons.  
  
Bubblyandrogue: HAH Ur joking! No one can kill or even see a demon!  
  
Firedragon: then I will come and visit you and prove to you I CAN.  
  
Bubblyandrougue: You're crazy!I don't put my address NE where so you can't track me!  
  
Firedragon: Watch me.  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Bubblyandrougue: wut  
  
Review for more!!! 


	4. Day 2 of boredom

Author: Sorry it took so long to update GUYS! But here's yet another chappie! (A/N: The spelling here is purely intentional! I got this spelling from actual chat sites. Plus anything that offends anybody is purely me slipping into the Hiei persona…send a flame if you wish, just a forewarning)

**Sugarherewego: **Hey asl

**Hieithefiredemon:** Sorry I don't do that

**Sugarherewego: **Wot?

**Hieithefiredemon: **I don't do the asl

**Sugarherewego:** w/e

**Hieithefiredemon: **Why are you so lazy?

**Sugarherewego:** Wot r u talking about?

**Sugarherewego: ** I m not lazy!

**Hieithefiredemon: **Well you're obviously not as hyper as your name

suggests you are! You spell everything wrong.

**Sugarherewego: **ur a jerk!

**Hieithefiredemon: **So? If I were nice to everybody, they would take advantage of me. Then I would have to hurt them.

**Sugarherewego: ** Wow ur a freek-a-leek!

**MrsClayAiken: **Wow, Hiei u r mean!

**Hieithefiredemon: **Well, I don't have time to be nice

**Sugarherewego: ** Then wot r u doing chatting?

**MrsClayAiken: **relly!

**Hieithefiredemon: **I ended up here out of boredom, and I can't necessarily stop my habits now.

**MrsClayAiken: **Wot r u talking about?

**Hieithefiredemon:** By the way, I think your "husband" is gay.

**MrsClayAiken: **No! He openly said he wasn't gay! Get your facts straight!

**Hieithefiredemon:** Maybe you haven't heard but there's a little trend going on called "lying". Maybe you haven't caught on yet.

**( MrsClayAiken left the room)**

**Hieithefiredemon:** Finally she's gone!

**Sugarherewego: ** OMG u r sooo meeen!

**Hieithefiredemon:** Bad habits die hard

**(Sugarherewego left the room)**

**ShanghaiNights: **Hiei do u have msn?

**Hieithefiredemon:** If I did I wouldn't be advertising it!  
**ShanghaiNights: **Oh…

**(Hieithefiredemon left the room)**

That wasn't very long but this story is coming to an end because this is the last chapter; hope you liked it (and if I offended anyone, it was because I was slipping into the Hiei persona, in which he doesn't care about anyone but himself)—

Love Foxxy


	5. Chapter 5

**Surprise Chapter**

**"The new, more Ghetto Hiei"**

_Also, to those reviewers out there who question the plot, Hiei chats on the computer when Hiei damn well pleases. That is all._

Enter Hiei ShiningFireDragon and EmoSLUT

ShiningFireDragon: Is anyone here going speak?

EmoSLUT: Dude, I need sugar!

ShiningFireDragon: So you can get fat?

EmoSLUT: If I were fat could I fit into girl pants.

ShiningFireDragon: Oh my God, you're gay.

EmoSLUT: You just don't know what cool is.

ShiningFireDragon: I'm not sure that Nancy Boy was ever "cool".

EmoSlut: Dude, with a mohawk and a band tee you'd see how cool I am.

ShiningFireDragon: Coming from a guy with "SLUT" in his screen name. Are you sure you don't own a Madonna CD?

EmoSLUT: How'd you know?

ShiningFireDragon: Its not that hard.

EmoSLUT: No really.

ShiningFireDragon: -.- coughHOMOcough

EmoSLUT: I have enough sadness in my life, you asshole! Everyone hates me!

ShiningFireDragon: Wow, you're right.

EmoSLUT: Asshole.

ShiningFireDragon: Bitch.

EmoSLUT: Cunt.

ShiningFireDragon: Such a mean word for such a scrawny bitch! How old are you, 14?

EmoSLUT: Dude, seriously are you psychic?

ShiningFireDragon: Hn.

EmoSLUT?

5 Minutes Pass.

EmoSLUT: Well?

ShiningFireDragon: Oh you're still there...i thought you might have killed yourself or...something.

ShiningFireDragon: Bitch.

Enter SexciiMama411

SexciiMama411: Why u gotta play dat way homes?

ShiningFireDragon: I'm sorry do you speak English?

SexciiMama411: u dun wanna mess wit dis shiiiiit!

ShiningFireDragon: NO COMPRENDO!

SexciiMama411: Boiiii I come ova dere an comprendo yo ass!

ShiningFireDragon: You want to talk about kicking ass, eh?

SexciiMama411: Boiiiii u juss met it!

ShiningFireDragon: (Sarcastic) Yeah I can tell.

SexciiMama411: u get yo bitchass outta here, u bein a ass 2 evry1

ShiningFireDragon: Are you serious?

SexciiMama411: Dis iz as serious as it getsz, homecake.

ShiningFireDragon: I'm done talking with you.

SexciiMama411: Hell naw bitch, u startin shit, u finishin shit

ShiningFireDragon: How about you get over it.

SexciiMama411: Dis shit isz for reallll! i gotsz a babii boii in jail and we'sz in luv an u cant mess wit dat.

ShiningFireDragon: (sarcastic) Oh wow I'm scared of a detained man. Do you listen to yourself when you speak?

SexciiMama411: I am real, i dunno about u wit yo narrow-headed fake-ass.

ShiningFireDragon: Who the Hell are you to be judging whats real and fake?

Sexciimama411: I callsz em as I seesz em

ShiningFireDragon: Coming from a girl who can't spell worth shit, and calls people "Homecake".

SexciiMama411: Boii u juss can't handle dis shit.

ShiningFireDragon: Whats there to handle? A bitch who's going to sick a detained man on me? He's behind bars you retard, who's he going to hurt?

SexciiMama411: Hesz gonna get out an then what? What now?

ShiningFireDragon: There you go speaking Spanish again.

SexciiMama411: wut tha hell?

ShiningFireDragon: Its okay, I know retards are people too.

SexciiMama411: i know u aint speakin 2 me!

ShiningFireDragon: Yes I know retards can be productive citizens to society, I believe in you.

SexciiMama411: im outtie bitches...w/e.


End file.
